Maintaining a Vision for Our Future Family

"Waiting on the Lord" Series

by Emily M.
from Virtuous Daughters, October 2016~Volume 16, Number 7

It can be challenging to maintain a cheerful attitude and a vision for a future family when that future family seems so elusive. If you’re like me, the prospect of marriage may appear slim. Mr. Right isn’t around and he’s not even on the horizon or over the horizon. It’s easy to wonder if he died at birth and the possibility of becoming an old, grouchy spinster continues to loom bigger and bigger. While your friends get married and raise their children, you are still waiting and waiting, and waiting some more. Your overflowing Hope Chest becomes more of a Hopeless Chest and you wonder if life has passed you by. 

​I have been told on numerous occasions that it only takes one! Yes, God doesn’t need a whole herd of guys for us to pick from. If He has marriage in your future, He already has the one picked out and will bring him along when He is ready. The Lord loves you and wants you to trust Him for what is best.
 
Seek the Lord and make Him your top priority and pursuit. No matter what happens in life or who comes and goes, the Lord will always be there for you. Love Him with all your being and remember that He is and always should be your First Love. When we put our own desires before God, we will become discontent and discouraged. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
 
Don’t just pass the time; serve, today, with all your energy. It is very sad to see many young women “passing the time,” waiting for something or someone better to spring into their lives. The Lord recently impressed upon me the need to live fully in what He has for me, today. When I start thinking too much about “what ifs” in the future, my energy is zapped for today. While it is important to plan for the future, we are not there yet. Embrace today and live with a joyful heart, accomplishing what the Lord has for you this very hour. “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24 
 
Don’t lose your focus on the Lord. When a husband and children are around, our attention will be scattered and it can be easier to lose our First Love. I don’t speak from experience here, but I do know the challenges of trying to balance animals and farm life with my love for Jesus. We must make our “love life” with our Savior a daily habit, one that we cannot live without. “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.” I Corinthians 7:34
 
One of the essential elements of maintaining a vision for our future family is not losing the vision for our current family. God has placed us in our specific families and has given us everything we need. He has given us Himself and a family who loves us.
 
One day I was bemoaning the fact that I was stuck without a husband and working what seemed to be a repetitive, “dead end” job for my family. On a daily basis I would feed the animals, do the dishes, clean the house, and perform many other repetitive tasks. I felt like I was wasting my good time and the best years of my life were being spent on small, daily chores. The Lord quickly got a hold of my selfish attitude and reminded me of a very important fact. Whether I am living with my mom or living with a husband, I ultimately serve the Lord. If I were married, I would have to daily do the dishes, clean the house, and feed the children. My day would be consumed with small tasks that would start over the next day. No matter my place in life, everything, whether big or small, should be done for the glory of God. “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much.” Luke 16:10
 
Meditate on truth. I don’t know about you, but it can be challenging to keep my thought life pure and centered on the Word of God. A number of years ago I went on a girls retreat. One of the most important things that I took away from that week was a simple exhortation my leader gave to the group. “Speak truth in your heart.” “He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.” Psalm 15:2
 
When impure, negative, or untrue thoughts arise, immediately replace them with truth from the Word of God. “Nobody likes me. Everybody is against me.” (“If God be for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31) “I am worthless.” (“Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31)  “Nobody truly loves me.” (“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.” 1 John 3:1) “I am all alone in this struggle.” (“For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5) “I will never get married.” (“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” James 1:17)
 
Develop a thankful life. A thankful attitude squashes pride and recognizes the Lord and others for the achievements in my life. Gratefulness comes from a heart that is firmly trusting in the Lord, knowing that His way is perfect. Contentment is a reward of a thankful heart, for we find joy in every aspect of life. We are not naturally grateful people. It is a trait we must allow the Lord to build in our lives as we submit to Him and His perfect will for our lives. “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thess. 5:18) A grateful heart is very becoming and pleasing to the Lord!
 
Dear sisters, do not grow weary in well doing! Stay the course and remain faithful to the One who loved you and gave Himself for you! The rewards will be immeasurable!