Cross Roads*

by Tiffany S.
from Virtuous Daughters, August 2010~Volume 10, Number 5

She is thirteen years old and thoughtfully stands at a fork in the road of life. To the left is an attractive, wide path. “Popular” would be an appropriate one-word description, since much of the world and all her peers are happily traveling on it. They seem to enjoy this new adventure. To the right is a more narrow trail. She sees no one on it at the particular moment, but the worn pathway gives evidence that it has been used throughout the centuries and that occasionally, another pilgrim journeys through it.

She glances both ways. Which way should she go? Which way is best? Everyone seems to be enjoying the beginning of the path on the left, but what consequences will it reap in the end? Is it always that exciting, that easy? Just because everyone is taking the broad trail, does that mean she should? Which way should she go?

*****
Ten years later . . . Still on the “narrow way” she chose ten years ago, she is happy. She is content. When people question her choices (especially the choice to be on the narrow way), she doesn’t have to think much or make any “life-shattering” decisions, because this is simply a way of life for her. She still feels (keenly at times) the rejection of the world, but she knows where she’s headed. “It’s what I’ve always done,” she says, picking a flower by the wayside. “I know I’m different. But I’m living for Jesus, not for the world. I love the praise of God more than the praise of men.”

******
Thirty years later . . . Still on the originally chosen trail—and faithfully enduring the rough times it sometimes brings—her path begins to cross with some of those peers from her teenage years. Yet this hardly seems true when she sees their faces. Yes, of course they have aged, but they look . . . words can’t quite describe the look. The happiness is diminished and replaced with a look of pain. It seems as if they’ve made wrong choices—taken some wrong turns. Perhaps the thorns have not always been avoided. Maybe they have been trapped in some of those temptations that do not give what they promise. When she asks how they are doing, they sigh and tell the long, oft-told story of sin, sorrow, disaster, and ultimately, regret. They trace back the tears to a defining moment in life, when they were thirteen years old, and they took the broad path.

******
Sixty years later . . . Seeing her childrens’ children walk in the freeing truth of Jesus Christ is her greatest joy. She looks back on her life, aware of the fact that the narrow way has not always been easy. But she could not be happier. The peace of the Lord fills her soul as she rejoices in God her Savior. She is thankful for His grace to get her on the right track, and His sustaining strength throughout the years.

******
Eighty years later . . . “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
 
 
  
For most of us, this isn’t our story—yet. But for all of us, it’s the longing, it’s the ideal, it’s the desire of our hearts. To be one of those who takes the narrow way, who—despite criticism and possibly rejection from the “popular” culture and world—never stops walking with Jesus. And it is my hope that all of us are starting out right by making God-honoring choices now.
  
I truly believe that every young lady comes to cross-roads in life. She makes these decisions over a period of time, usually during her early teenage years, and then by the time she has reached adulthood, she is often settled on one particular path. Of course she still makes many decisions throughout her lifetime, but much of her destiny is decided by the choices she made as a girl. This is why it is absolutely vital that all girls, but especially the ones who are in those crucial teenage years, choose the path that the Lord has set for us.
  
When I was younger, I came to those cross-roads. I saw two ways—the way that my peers were taking, and the way that my parents were taking me. Of course, as their child I had to go their way; but I still had to put my heart on a pathway. You see, it is possible to outwardly conform to and follow the guidelines that are being set by our authorities. But if our hearts are elsewhere, then when the choice becomes completely ours, the path of our feet will quickly become the path of our heart. I am eternally grateful to the Lord for setting my feet and my heart on the straight and narrow way when I was young, for those defining moments of my life—those life-changing decisions—those foundational choices—have affected me and continue to affect me. They have made it so much easier for me to obey the Lord and my parents when the way was not clear, or hard to follow, as a young adult.
  
It is a common picture—children spend the first ten or twelve years of their lives in innocent fun, living the way their parents have taught them, doing the “normal” things of life. Then comes a pivotal point when they become more serious. They realize that they have choices to make. It is at this time that their heart and their direction of life is greatly revealed to all who know them.
  
I rejoice as I watch girls make godly decisions, as they choose to be different from the world, and as they firmly set their feet and their heart on the Rock of Jesus Christ. I am so happy for them, because I know their future is bright and full of hope. I can’t wait to see how God is going to use their lives for His glory. But my heart breaks for the young ladies who are taking the wrong path in confusion, or because it is the way of their friends. I envision them years from today, reaping the consequences of their choices—the sorrow, the pain, the regret. I long to share my heart with them, to encourage them to shun the world’s ideas and to pursue God’s way. But that is not always possible in certain settings. Yet I want to encourage all of you, but especially those of you who are at cross-roads. Are you at a fork in the road? Are you trying to decide who you are and what you want your life to look like? Are you curious what limits you can push to, what is right and what is wrong? Do you feel confused? Perhaps you are excited about becoming a “young adult,” and anticipate all the new decisions that you have (or will soon have) the independence to make, but you’re not sure how to respond to this new season of life. For just a few minutes, allow me to share with you.
  
I’ll start by clarifying that the Lord can work amazing miracles. He has taken many rebellious, reckless lives and turned them into beautiful, God-honoring lives completely surrendered to His will. The Scriptures and history are replete with examples. But this is not the way that we should desire. We should desire to live a life that starts following Christ, keeps following Christ, and ends following Christ. This is the best, preferred way—and it is possible! There are many examples of these types of people as well. Consider Daniel and Joseph—they made vital decisions to serve and follow the Lord in their youth, which caused the other choices they would have to make much easier. They were faithful to the Lord all their days.
  
I came to Christ at age 6 and at around age 12, I began to have questions about many basic issues of life. How would I dress? What types of books would I read? What would my attitude be toward my chores and school? Would I respect and trust my parents? How would I relate to the boys and girls that I knew? How would I treat my brothers and sister? What kind of future would I plan and prepare for? Would I respect and trust my parents’ decisions, even when I did not agree with them? How would I handle friendships that I knew were not encouraging me in godliness? What was my purpose in my life? What would my life goal and mission be? I was definitely at the cross-roads during these years! I vividly remember imagining two paths ahead of me. There was the right path that I knew was the path of the Lord, and there was a path that was more appealing to my flesh, but that would end in regret.
       
Though I had to obey my parents in the areas of dress, books, games, and other aspects, these were the years when I would ponder the issues in my mind, read the Word, read other books, and decide for myself where my heart would be. Thankfully, with the Lord’s gentle faithfulness and my parents’ wisdom, I began to embrace with my heart, attitude, and actions, God’s will. It was not always easy, and it did mean a season of loneliness. However, when I reminisce on these years of life-changing decisions, I can only smile and thank the Lord for keeping my heart and my feet on the straight and narrow way. I realized my purpose was to live for Christ—to glorify Him—and I began seeking ways to do this. I made an effort to love and cherish my siblings. I chose to not argue with my parents about decisions they made that set me apart. I decided for myself that modesty and purity are very important to the Lord, and that I would embrace these principles with my heart as well as with my actions. I was careful to not disrespect my parents, even behind their backs. I also tried to encourage other girls in the ways of the Lord.
      
Because of this, as I grew older and continually faced similar decisions, it was honestly not a huge struggle. I knew Who I believed, what I believed, and why I believed it. I joyfully and happily continued to follow the way that the Lord had and continues to call me. However, I know that if my heart had been in rebellion and bitter toward the Lord and my parents those preceding years, it would have been a much greater struggle to choose the Lord’s way as an adult. I have found that as I continue to follow the Lord, it becomes even more a way of life for me and I truly become happy with the lifestyle that I have chosen. As a teenager, I would sometimes watch friends who were on the broader way, and notice how much fun they were having. But now, that direction does not have the same appeal to me. I am satisfied, content, and joyful in the way that Jesus is leading me!
  
“Choose you this day whom ye will serve . . . As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”—Joshua 24:15 We are so familiar with the verse that perhaps we have not stopped to ponder its meaning in a long while. Do so now, however, especially if you are at a cross-road in life. You have a choice to follow the Lord or to follow the world. I once heard a mother say that the most encouraging conversation she ever had with one of her children was when he told her, “The Lord is showing me that now I have to decide if I am going to follow His way or follow the way of all my friends. I’m going to follow the Lord, even though that will mean losing my friends.” This is exactly what it may take for some. Another father said that his children did not have many likeminded friends growing up, but looking back (all his children are now married with families of their own), they are especially grateful for how they were protected from worldly influences, because it caused them to more easily stay on the straight and narrow way as adults.
  
I’m not saying to drop all your friendships, unless they are leading you astray. But I am saying that it is extremely vital to choose the way of the Lord. The decisions a girl makes in her early teen years literally set the precedent for the rest of her life. Those choices mold her into the woman she will be in just a few short years. They affect her, her family, her friends, her community, and generations to come . . . way more than she may realize.
  
Recently I heard a sermon about surrendering our will to the Lord. It was very challenging. Even though I became a Christian when I was six years old, and am constantly endeavoring to live completely for my Savior, at times it is difficult for me to give up everything and tell the Lord to do whatever He wills with my life. When I do that, I feel as if I am taking a grip off the steering wheel (the direction of “my” life) and suddenly have no clue where I’m headed! However, it is the most freeing and rewarding choice I could ever make! Why? Because God is worthy of my trust—His way is perfect, His plan much greater than mine, and He wants only what is best for me! When I am living in complete surrender to Jesus, I find it easier to trust and obey Him and my parents, easier to live for Christ alone, easier to put myself last, easier to stay humble, and easier to be different than the world. The following verses from Psalm 18 encourage me greatly: “As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: He is a buckler to all those that trust Him. For who is God save the Lord? Or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places. He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms. Thou hast also given me the shield of Thy salvation: and Thy right hand hath holden me up, and Thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.”—vv.30–36
  
Dear girls, if you are at cross-roads right now, please choose the way of Jesus. His way is best—it is safe, it is wise, and it is full of blessings. It is full of joy. Yes, there will be difficulties; you may even encounter loneliness and trials. But you will rejoice—one day your works will praise you in the gates and you will thank the Lord for keeping you on the narrow way. I once read this inspiring quote: “Loving Him means the thankful acceptance of all things His love has appointed.”
  
The issues that many girls struggle with do get easier, as they repeatedly choose Christ over temporal pleasures. But only if you commit now to stay pure and unspotted from the world. Then, when you are making different decisions as an adult, these things will be part of life. They will not be huge struggles anymore—and you won’t be reaping the consequences of them! I can attest to these facts, and I know of many other young women who can as well.
  
If you are questioning, “What is the narrow way? How can I know what are good choices, and what is wrong?” I will not attempt to answer or outline that question here, but I will tell you this: Study God’s Word! It contains everything you need to know about living the Christian life. One of my friends recently told me, “I think we make the Christian life a whole lot harder than it is supposed to be.” That is so true. Seek Jesus. Saturate your mind in His Word. Abide in Him. And remember, if you are with the crowd, if you fit in with the world, you may be on the wrong path. So step back, look at the Bible, and seek His guidance. He will show you the right way to take! He will not leave you to figure everything out on your own! Also seek your parents’ counsel. They were teenagers once, too, and they have learned much through experience and time. They will see things from the perspective of wanting God’s best for you, rather than being interested in temporal pleasures!
    
To those who are discouraged by constant temptation and long for victory, let me encourage you with a basic truth. When we are saved, we are given the divine nature that cannot sin. But our “old man” (our sin nature) remains with us and we will not lose that until we actually see Jesus face to face. Therefore, one of the constant struggles in our life will be choosing to resist temptation and to do right. Our flesh will constantly war against our spirit. Here’s the secret: Starve the flesh and feed the spirit! Starve the old nature; feed the new nature. It works! I was recently studying about this, and had to list “activities and attitudes that, in your opinion, feed the new (divine) nature.” I wrote: “Reading Scripture, prayer, humility, unselfishness, going to church, fellowship with strong believers, choosing to reject anything that feeds old nature, reading godly books.” When asked to “list activities and attitudes that feed the old (sin) nature,” my answers were: “ungodly music, pride, selfishness, wrong friends, wrong thoughts (or motives), not reading God’s Word.” It also asked how to starve the old nature. I concluded that this is done by rejecting thoughts and activities that do not please God—resisting temptation continually. When asked why it is easy to do wrong and hard to do right, I wrote that “Our flesh is constantly warring. The way of Christ is ‘narrow’ and at times difficult, but all who are godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. Also, ‘wrong’ appeals to our flesh—and our flesh is easier to please—less discipline, less restrictions, less boundaries, etc.” Romans 13:14 came to mind as being related to these thoughts: “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.” How do we “put on” Christ? Well, we are told to put on the armor of God, which is Christ! So dear sisters, the more time we spend in His Word and with Him, the more we “put Him on,” and the stronger we become to fight the wiles of the devil. It is possible to live a life that pleases Him. It is possible to take the narrow way, even if every friend you have takes the other way.
  
In addition to time in God’s Word, I would encourage you to earnestly pray. Not until last year did I establish a daily (attempt-at-daily) prayer time. I must say that the days I spend this time with the Lord seem so much better than the days I do not. His promises are true! At first, it may seem difficult to “talk to God,” but it becomes a time that you will find hard to do without! I have been very excited to watch the Lord increase my faith as He answers my prayers. Remember, the more we believe Him, the more He works in our lives! (Matt. 13:58)
  
Of course, even if we make wise choices as teenagers, it is still possible to stray in our adult years. That is why we must constantly guard against ungodly influences and immerse ourselves in God’s Word! Don’t be afraid of high standards. The Christian life is not about rules and regulations—it’s about a relationship with Jesus Christ. However, we humans need those boundaries and guidelines to help keep us focused and on the right track! They are good for us, really! :)
  
Following are some Scriptures that I thought would be of particular encouragement when you feel alone and discouraged. Please read them carefully and think about the meanings.
  
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”—Galatians 6:7–9
  
“Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”—Matthew 7:13–14
  
“Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.”—2 Timothy 2:3
  
“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them that love His appearing.”—2 Timothy 4:7–8
  
“For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.”—2 Timothy 1:12
  
“Whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed.”—Romans 10:11b

“If the world hate you, ye know that it hated Me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.”—John 15:18–19
  
“Thomas saith unto Him, Lord, we know not whither Thou goest; and how can we know the way? Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me.”—John 14:5–6
  
“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand. My Father, which gave them Me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of My Father’s hand. I and My Father are one.”—John 10:27–30
  
“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”—John 8:12      

“. . . As Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”—Ephesians 5:25–27
  
“Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many. I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life. Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away. . . . But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble.”—Proverbs 4:10–19
  
All that matters now—and especially in the end—is Jesus Christ. Stay on the narrow way with Him. Trust Him to guide you. When you are lonely, ask Christ to be that faithful Friend Who never fails. Take His yoke upon you—He promises rest and peace. You will be glad you did.