Our Parents ~ Part 2

by Tiffany S.
from Virtuous Daughters, September 2014~Volume 14, Number 6

(Continued)

GET TO KNOW YOUR PARENTS & LET THEM GET TO KNOW YOU. Talk to your parents; share your heart with them. It might seem awkward at first; it might be hard sometimes; and perhaps there will be times when you think, “Why did I say that?!” J However, overall, you will be so grateful for the transparency that aids in cultivating a deeper relationship. If you have difficulty framing your thoughts into words, consider writing a letter to express what you are feeling or questions you might want to ask.
    Openness and honesty about our thoughts (in a respectful way) has always been strongly urged in our home. Unless your parents prefer differently, be transparent with them about your~
    ∙ struggles          ∙ questions             ∙ fears                     ∙ desires
    ∙ victories           ∙ joys                       ∙ whatever else is on your heart/mind
 
    Our parents love us, and they long to know us better. Open communication assists them as they diligently pray for us. Even if we approach them regarding a decision they made, as long as we come in an attitude of loving respect, our parents won’t condemn us for sharing our questions/feelings.
    Value your parents’ opinions and advice. If your relationship with your parents is not where it should be, you may be tempted to believe that others you have grown close to (such as a friend or older mentor) know you better than your parents do. But don’t be fooled! With rare exception, our parents know us better than we know ourselves. Invest in making them your best friends and closest confidants. It is so important that we place a high premium on the suggestions they make and the wisdom they impart to us. God gives them a unique and priceless perspective because of their role as our parents.
 
HEART OF SERVICE. We only get our single years to really express our gratitude through acts of service. Enjoy it! I love working with my mom, helping her pack to move; or getting heaping bowls of chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup and banana slices for Daddy. J Let us delight in taking advantage of these priceless moments! Flexibility is at times necessary, but the quote, “My heart is ever at your service,” describes the attitude our Lord urges us to take—the mind of Christ. “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus...Who...took upon Him the form of a servant…”—from Philippians 2 Jesus Himself said, “And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many.”—Matthew 20:27-28 Christ laid down His very life for us. “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.”—1 John 4:11 There are countless ways to serve our parents; use your imagination and pray for wisdom regarding how to most effectively minister to these dear ones who have so lovingly, faithfully, selflessly ministered to you—year after year, day after day.
   
INVEST IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. Sincerely, proactively invest in this relationship with your parents—make it a high priority. One day if we live miles away from our precious parents, we’ll be building on whatever foundation we laid while we were daughters in their homes. It’s never too late to start, but certainly, the sooner the better.
    What is their “love language”? Do they prefer thoughtful gifts, heartfelt letters, words of encouragement, acts of service, or loving hugs, the most? (Although we should never focus on just one “category,” since all are needful.)
    Ask them questions—seek to learn from them. Our parents have incredible wisdom and knowledge stored up from years of life experiences and growing with the Lord. Seek to glean as much as you can each day.
    Listen to their childhood memories/stories; possibly preserve these as well. What a special legacy to pass down to generations to come!
    Faithfully pray for them. This should not be underestimated. I endeavor to pray for my parents daily, and it’s been a true delight. They face a myriad of decisions and carry the weight of immense responsibility. What a blessing if we bring them—along with any specific needs they are facing—before the throne of grace. Praying Scripture for them is especially effective, because God’s Word does not return void.
    Remain humble. If we are prideful, refusing to make apologies or seek forgiveness; or if we ever consider ourselves to be “above” our parents, we will not grow in our relationship with them. Pride is an abomination to our Lord and it will inhibit any attempt to grow in Christ-likeness.
    Make restitution when necessary. Going to our parents for forgiveness is not easy, but when we have wronged them, it is essential to maintain a healthy relationship. Jesus further explained in Matthew 5:23-24: “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” A preacher at my church recently explained that getting right with others should always precede giving ourselves to God through a mode of service, ministry, the marriage altar, etc. We cannot expect the Lord to bless our offerings to Him if we have not first been reconciled to our parents.
    Tell them “thank you.” So many parents are undervalued and under-appreciated. May this not be true of our parents! Let them never doubt your gratefulness and reverence for the role they play in your life.
    Cherish the “ordinary” activities of life at home with your parents. I’ll never forget how much I appreciated even just going to town with my mom after her emergency in 2012. The tiniest things became huge to me—I realized that her daily presence was truly a priceless gift. When a friend’s father passed away suddenly in 2008, my attitude toward serving my dad was forever changed. Let us never take for granted these opportunities to serve and work alongside our precious parents each day. We will never regret the quality time we spend with them.
    There are so many other aspects of honoring our parents on which we could touch, but a foundation of deep gratitude for and to them will go far as we endeavor to honor and respect our dear father and mother all lifelong.
                                                                                ...The End
 
Note: I realize that there are some adverse situations which make honoring parents a serious challenge—when the parents are not Christians, or when Christian parents are clearly not walking with the Lord. I have sought to encourage certain girls in these situations, and it breaks my heart to think of their circumstances, due to the ungodliness of their parent(s). These rare instances will cause the practical applications of this series of articles to look different for some, but the principle to uphold remains the same…honoring your parents, even if they cannot lead you in righteousness. David was such a great example of this as he honored his father-in-law. Also, your prayers to the Lord never fall on deaf ears. Pray fervently for your parents’ hearts to be turned toward the Lord if they are not living for Him. Additionally, if you are in such a situation, please be comforted by Psalm 27:10: “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.”
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