Five Highly Effective Ways to Honor Your Parents

by Kaylyn
from Virtuous Daughters, May 2017~Volume 17, Number 2

In a day and age when skinny jeans, fair-trade vanilla soy lattes, and iPhones are commonplace, it may seem like the idea of honoring your parents is archaic. However, as Christians, we understand that the Scriptures are timeless. They were written for a people, both then and now, with an aptitude to concoct all sorts of sin and rebellion in their hearts. I find it comforting to know that the roads we travel are well worn, and that the very malady that strains our familial relationships, relies on Scripture for its cure.

Deuteronomy 5:16 says, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” The keys to harmonious family life, personal peace, and even potentially long life may very well lie in how we honor, or dishonor, God’s plan for the family. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18) Honoring our parents should be the priority in family life, followed closely with cultivating loving relationships with our siblings.
  
The book of Proverbs tells us that there is much wisdom in honoring our parents. King Solomon wrote many of the Proverbs specficially to his children, knowing that it would honor the Lord and bring great blessing to generations. The wisest of men, he admonished his sons and daughters to walk in obedience to the Lord. He wanted to share the wisdom God had revealed to him so that his children would live fruitful and Christ-exalting lives!
   
Proverbs 3:1-4 says, “My son, do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you. Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.” Length of days, peace, favor, and high esteem....Wow! I think each of us desire those blessings in our lives. God wants each of us to reap the incredible joys of glorifying Him through honoring our parents.
    
We know honoring our parents is vital, but practically speaking, what does “honoring” actually look like? Here are five highly effective ways we can glorify God in our relationship with our parents.
     
1. Cultivate a grateful attitude. Daughters have an incredible influence on the atmosphere of their homes! One way to bring our parents joy is to simply choose to be grateful. There are countless opportunities we have each day to notice and verbalize our thankfulness to our parents. Resist the temptation to grumble when things aren’t going your way, and instead, choose to focus on God’s blessings. Piles of laundry to fold mean that you and your family have enough clothes to wear. A sink full of dirty dishes means that God provided you with food to eat. Purpose to meditate on the goodness of God in all circumstances. A thankful spirit is contagious, and will bless those in your home.
    
2. Look for your parents' positive qualities. Start by taking note of at least one good characteristic and focus on that. Now, you may  be thinking, “Well, that’s all fine and good, but you have no idea what my parents are like.” However, God’s Word doesn’t qualify the command to honor our parents. We are not instructed to respect our parents IF they line up with our expectations. Even if we disagree at times with our parents, we are always called to honor them. A great way to cultivate an honoring mindset is to magnify their postive character traits instead of their shortcomings. Some examples might be: diligence, integrity, honesty, kindness, patience, thriftiness, cheerfulness, or self-sacrifice. Pick one. Then remind yourself and them of what is admirable. Next, find another. Determine to be a “noticer” of the good! Choosing to focus on your parents’ strong points will go a long way in strengthening your relationship with them.
    
3. Look for ways to serve them without being asked. How can you lighten your parents’ load? What can you do to make their day a little brighter? Maybe it’s making your dad some coffee before he leaves for work. Or perhaps you can entertain your younger siblings so your mom can take a much-needed nap. Seek to be the hands and feet of Jesus in your own home! Remember that God sees every act of service, and when you serve others, you’re really serving Him.
    
4. Have a teachable spirit. There’s so much we can learn from our parents if we have a receptive heart! God often gives us valuable insight through the godly authorities He’s placed in our lives. Practice being a good listener when your parents are talking. Be sure to receive wisdom and keep a humble heart.
    
5. Give them grace. There are no perfect parents. There are no perfect daughters. Kid’s don’t come with instruction manuals, so there will be times when our parents make mistakes. We need to have a heart of grace towards them; knowing that we often fail, as well. Don’t allow hurt feelings or misunderstandings to drive a wedge between you and your parents. Be quick to forgive and seek reconciliation. A critical spirit destroys relationships. Give your parents the understanding and kindness that you would hope that others would give to you.
 
While the world’s picture of families is falling apart, the Word of God remains strong and true. We can trust that the same Father that ordained us for this time and place hand-picked the earthly parents He desired for us. They are meant to be your closest allies, your greatest cheerleaders, and your most trusted counselors. “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” (Proverbs 1:8-9)